I created this blog as more of a way to open my mind up to both myself and the outside world. It is search able I will not however be advertising this blog on any social media. the point of this blog will not be creative writing or a misplaced attempts at journalism. The only source for this blog will be my often overwhelming thoughts of the world around me. So now that's over let get on with the show
I chose the title for these thought very carefully. I will state this now that I am not suffering from Anxiety disorder as far as I know. My anxiousness has as of late been cause by a recurring waking dream. The plot of the dream is usually myself and friends hanging out talking and I know something is off but I can not place it. Then She shows up. I call her She because I never remember the name and she is never the same twice. Now in these almost sitcom like dreams She appears to be my significant other girlfriend, wife, etc... Now some may call these dream happy or romantic. That may be what my mind is trying to convey to me. However when I wake I am left feeling lonely and anxiousness. These feelings are founded in my lack of a significant other. Yes I'm single and though I have tried to change this many times in my life I have just never "found the right person". My dating history is very fractured and while many of those I sought relationships with are still friends many I would rather have nothing else to do with. Now I'm tangenting the girls are not the problems nor is my dating history. The Problem is this anxiety I feel when I wake up and realise I am single. I doubt I will ever fully understand it one day hope that it will fade away regardless what direction my life takes. Now I'm shutting this door and going to bed and I hope I dream of Giant Robots, Magic, and Super Heroes.
